Bank Teller and Scribe

Bank Teller  0434 715.861 gets his jollies from inciting unrest at Nosh Stops on Muggs' Sunday bicycle rides and then penciling a diatribe in the weekly Bullsheet ride wrap-ups arse-about (to create a colourful yarn) where the good guys lose and the also-rans get credited with the PBs and KOMs. 

At Muggs’ functions Bank Teller has been given the restaurant bill to apportion out, ‘cause he reputedly used to move around big bucks on a plethora of large infrastructure and commercial property loan syndications in his former job at one of the Four Pillar banks.  Alas, evidencing PJ calculating everyone’s cop, suggest it would take him an hour and a half to watch 60 Minutes.

Doesn't have a circle of mentors, and occasionally resembles a chap upon whose toe an elephant has recently trodden and about as sentimental as a razor blade. 

An insouciant manner without frills or furbelows, Bank Teller ain't got a twin cam overdrive under the bonnet, and is content to trundle along at the rear of the field and shepherd the tail.  Given his military medium cadence, "It's hard to believe that he once beat a million other sperm to the egg."

A Polemicist always prepared to put his head above the parapet, and regularly gets shot at over his stands on social issues, in particular -

*    predatory marketing of credit cards to Australians with very poor numeracy and literacy skills, Revolvers, often thru no fault of their own that are paying the cost of 'lines of credit' enjoyed by Transactors;

*    Australia's inept assistance to refugees from Rohingya (Myanmar), Syria, Iraq, Yemen, Burundi, Congo, South Sudan et al flooding into nearby countries, whilst Australia is hidden away from the problem a long way down in the South Pacific, leaving it to other countries, notably Germany to provide humanitarian aid to peoples, not as lucky as ourselves, in dire circumstances;

*    excessive/voracious CEO and Board rem whilst rank 'n file employees wages have flat-lined and 'casual work' (no benefits/supports) has become the norm'; and

*    'political cowardice' by not confronting the need to re-introduce both corporal and capital punishment, because -

      a)  the recidivism rate (prisoners being released after serving a sentence, then committing further crime and returning to jail) is over 50% within 2.33 years of release in Australian jails.  The N.T. and NSW have the highest re-offenders. Prisons 'institutionalize' a lot of inmates, whereupon those inmates become a costly ongoing burden on the Public Purse; and

      b)  warehousing squillions of criminal offenders in steel cages (as punishment and deterrent) is a costly use of the public purse, better expended on health and education of taxpayers and the next generation of taxpayers (recidivism rates are >50% within 2.33 years of release from prison.)

BankTeller can be as prickly as a cactus and as cutting as a razor blade.  With a bit of Rottweiler coming to the fore when colleagues fail to take up the cudgels for change, BankTeller is unlikely to -


*       see out his final years as a United Nations peacekeeper; or

*       receive appointment to the Diplomatic Corp.

In the cane fields   




Circa 2002 at Lake Macq.


BankTeller got lucky on a ride to Windsor.  He was just about to take a team pic in Historic Thompson's Square, when he noticed a young lady who'd brighten any drab cycling photo.  BankTeller enquired, "Can we borrow your body for our pic?"  Voila! One "Lucky Phil" 'cause the young lass accommodated, but slipped away before BankTeller could propose to her.

Circa Oct '04 thru the Lowlands, Nth Richmond amidst wholesome, well fertilised serenity, it recharged the therapy gauge. 
"Tour de Lowlands, Nth Richmond Freemans Reach'' - 81km, albeit flattish, will be featured on a Muggs' Sunday Ride soon, 'cause it is bonza, beaut, bottler ride, offering a marvellous, remedial distraction from the stuff most of us contend with M to F.




  Bank Teller 'n Widget at Spencer   

Racing the Sag Wagon on 3rd annual Tour de Wiseman's Ferry


   Richard, Bank Teller, Ned 'n Malvern Star circa 2005

Carbo loading on a monster burger at Kulnura circa 3rd 'Linger 'n Die'
Matt aka Printer, in red jersey, didn't like tomatoes, but downed a Black Disprin.

Stretching a hamstring at Windsor


Climbing Mt Wellington, Hobart 1,337m above sea level circa Feb '05 with Peter from Austria who rode a seriously heavier treadley


Coledale Cafe and Wollongong Harbour - Jan 2006



BankTeller places a high stead on his 3 titanium bikes.  In 2002 he broke a gear cable on his RX Mongoose Ti bike and hailed a NSW Ambulance at Mt White which kindly dropped him at Hawkesbury River train station

Audley Weir, circa News Year's day 2007

Laurence 'n Bank Teller on Palm Beach Wharf awaiting ferry to Patonga - circa Jan '07

BankTeller, Pelvis 'n Pete's mate, Bruce met Breakfast Show Announcer, and Bicycle Buff, Adam Spencer, at the 702 Breakfast on Ride 2 Work Day - circa Oct '07.  As Adam autographed Pete's 702 Red T-shirt, BankTeller mentioned that he had spoken to Adam on-air earlier that morn' at 5:40am, when Adam had asked listeners who were cycling to 'phone ahead.  Adam retorted, "At that time, anyone can get straight thru."

Printer, Bank Teller 'n Pelvis slogging up Saddleback Mountain, Kiama during 4th Berry KOM Challenge

BankTeller & DishPig above Hawkesbury River train station - circa 2005
RHS pic:  BankTeller, Pelvis & Tyro slogging up another hill in 4th Berry KOM Challenge














Audley Weir - Jan '09

Outside Thai Restaurant Terrey Hills  -  Jan '10

Cliftonville - June '10

Ferry to Wagstaffe with Jane aka Neo-Luddite's familiar pose - Xmas 2010

Bank Teller and Kev aka TexDubbo at the Hub of the Universe on a pristine Autumn day - April '13

On the backroads to Richmond  -  Nov 2013

Andy's Cafe, Nth Galston - May '14

Woy Woy station - June 2014

BankTeller is madly in love with a tenacious female cyclist, Billie Fleming, who may not know about his deep feelings

Or is he more smitten with Sarah Maddock?

April 2015 on Patonga Wharf